The Gift of the Present Moment

In my morning readings and meditation, I contemplate an awareness.

Instead of dreaming about tomorrow, I fashion it with the choices I make today.

I am living in the present moment.

My world is rich with blessings and challenges. Challenges that strengthen and prepare me for a better life.

Is it worth then to deny these gifts by wishing them different?

I gladly accept life as it is and be humble for the rich life in this very moment.

An awareness that I have been graced with in my midlife adventure.

Happy Mother’s Day

Tail of Trust

Picture this. A leap of excitement chasing a squirrel, landing in a busy median strip on a highway far from home. Fatigue and hunger quickly settling in, drudging every step, miles away from familiar surroundings, trusting that you’re moving in the right direction.

Fast moving traffic on each side, not having enough energy to cross the highway to safety, just pushing yourself to keep walking.

“Oh my goodness, we have to stop!” The first attempt, we passed him, not a safe place to pull over we feared. Cars whirling past us in a quick gust heading somewhere. I gasped at the thought witnessing an accident of a beautiful large tan Lab being struck.

We try again. We didn’t have a plan only needing to save him.

Circling around again, gently landing on a small area, teetering halfway on the busy highway, giving him enough room so not to scare him into the fast, approaching traffic.

No plan. Yet.

Our knee jerk reaction is to tempt him with water. Not thirsty.

So we sit and wait.

He hesitates, slowly turning around, reluctantly, carefully inching his way towards our vehicle. Tears of joy welling up while witnessing a grateful dog, wagging his tail for our willingness to stop and help.

Success.

At this point your logical mind wonders, ‘what are we going to do next?’

Trust.

“He’s going on a camping trip!” my friend celebrating him going with us.

I immediately thought of a wish being granted, envisioning a dream I had camping with a dog. 

Wish granted!

We quickly jump in the car and we’re on our way to St. Francois State Park in Bonne Terre.

A sense of relief envelopes us watching this grateful, happy dog safe in our car, enjoying the freedom of safety.

We both giggled with a what-just-happened awareness, waiting to see where this journey is taking us.

Trust.

His sense of faith, courage and kind spirit soon inspired us to call him, St. Francois, naming him after our impending camping destination.

We welcomed the unknown excitement of an adventure. Why not? Fear can dampened the fun out of anything, so breathe and see what happens.

Trust.

I noticed there is a deep passion in people’s hearts when helping a rescued animal. Everyone we met wanted to help. Facebook helped to spread the word.

We met very nice people eager to help; Sheri and Jim on the trail, Debbie and Paul at our campsite, all are posting it on Facebook and also we were greeted warmly at a local vet to check for a chip to identify our rescue’s owner.

Denise volunteered to take home St. Francois to temporarily foster him when later that night a message came from Sheri that she found the owner on Facebook.

The owner drove late that night with faith that it was her dog and success!

Owner and canine reunite!

St. Francois’s real name is Max. His journey started in Farmington on Thursday chasing a squirrel. On Saturday morning, we found him going in the right direction heading home to Bonne Terre, 20 miles away!

What this adventure showed me is that when you’re lost, it takes determination and trust to find your way home and all you have to do is to decide which direction that you’re going in and just keep walking!

A tail of trust.

I'm Concerned About Your Symptoms

Typically on a delightful spring day you can find me anywhere but here, sitting in a sterile, patient packed room waiting for my name to be called. I pride myself having a healthy lifestyle in my midlife adventure; hiking, backpacking and watching what I eat. A chronic cough is the culprit why I’m sitting waiting for treatment, thinking a quick fix at an urgent care first but then heading straight to the emergency room because they are concerned about my symptoms.

How did I get here? The scale is a good beginning of my awareness having that number surprise me how abundant I’ve been living. I try to live a good, natural lifestyle but it may have caught up with me.

Here I am.

A hurried distressed couple moved past me, a gruff, hoarse-sounding, bearded, unwell man belittling his pregnant woman displaying his displeasure being here.

Living this long I am aware of some choices I made (love sugar) and justifying my behavior (just one more piece of cake) could result in why I am sitting here.

Am I willing to accept the responsibility?

It is discerning to see the convalescent suffering looking for the same help and struggling with the idea that I am among them.

A young, thin girl displaying a glittery PINK message on her back, trotting in house slippers trailing her lanky, young, ailing boyfriend talking on his cell phone, searching for someone to come to their aid.

Amongst the ill in this level 1 city emergency room, a few of the worn shuffling about looking for some direction and the general public of the ailing looking for immediate medical attention. 

The whole experience is heightened by code blue alerts and church-is-in-session announcements heard over the intercom.

I search to understand this methodical feeling of an evolution, thriving, hustling, bustling get-together of people accepting this as a run-of-the-mill part of their daily routine.

Am I one of them?

Am I next?

These situations call for a reflection of some sort, doesn’t it? Become a vegetarian? Lose a few pounds? I noticed the rules have changed since arriving to this point of my life. The energy level is not what it was 20 years ago as my food intake gathers around my hips and not those skinny legs I remember.

So what am I learning from this experience? My body calls for the individual attention like an older woman having to face the second part of her life. Certain foods can’t be digested like it once did; my stomach is not 20 years old. Am I too busy? My thought process feels very young but it doesn’t match my aging body.

People shuffling along in one door out the other, clustering, rebelling, consoling and disoriented. We all have a common thread.

I want to be next!

I come from the belief that if you take care of yourself with a good lifestyle and a regular routine doctor visit then there is no a need for an emergency room visit.

Am I next?

What am I taking away from this experience? A reality check. A gratitude list.

• When you’re here long enough and tired of waiting, you start to mingle with interesting people having an insightful conversation. We have more in common then I thought!
• I noticed a hungry patient having a problem with the vending machine accepting her bill and someone offering their debit card to complete the purchase.
• A friendly conversation started when someone wanted to exit a locked security door and another came to her rescue.
• Giving up my seat offered me a chance to feel helpful.
• This has given me a chance to blog this experience when I haven’t been inspired to write lately.
• A chance to feel the gratitude seeing others in worse situations then I am.
• Consoling each other how much time we have to wait and listening with compassion.
• Finding humor in having to wait to see how much longer after questioning to see how many people are ahead of me.
• A young father sharing pictures of his babies.
• A sincere announcement…. “Sorry about your wait”. A compassionate voice to a sterile atmosphere.

The results are in. It took 7 hours of waiting to be told that I’m spending a night for observation. 

Haven’t I seen it all? 

I have a better understanding of life from having this experience.

In this world there are basically kind people doing the best they can with what they have been given.  

It broadened my understanding of the variety of souls it takes to make the world go around and it heightened my awareness to take better care of myself, no matter how old I am.